Saturday, May 24, 2008

this and that

It's hot here.

There's a reason people fear to tread after May...humid and gunk. The desert gets hot over the day, but when we start our labour at least it's somewhat cool.

The result is we're all going a bit crazy, but adjusting.

Not a place I would recommend as a vacation spot. Nice enough, but not quite nice enough.

Oh and I should mention, we randomly got taken downstairs in the bakery yesterday. The machine they use to produce about 100 pitas every 3 minutes (me guessing) is very fun. Lots of snaking conveyer belts etc etc. I'd love to give you all details but will instead just say imagine the most fantastic pita micahine you have ever seen in the basement of a bakery in Aqaba and that's pretty much what I saw.

Peace. I'm out of here (and going to supper).

beach

So we are in Aqaba. A place in the south that was a sleepy fishing village until the British started feeding supplies through here during teh Arab Revolt and the Ottoman overthrow of the early 20th century.

Now it is Jordan's only port and rpetty important for shipping Jordan's number one export (Potash!!!!!!!) and bringing in gear for Iraq. There is also some nice reef and coastline (Jordan traded 6000 sq. km of desert for a few extra of coastline from Saudi Arabia a few years ago) and as a result there are a few luxury hotels here and some nice beaches.

Since the girls we're with want to wear something more revealing than a towel we must go to the private beaches that come with a fee and a slightly more discerning clientele. Yesterday being our day off we decided to set out in search of just such a beach (Baracuda in the guidebooks). Of course I managed to lead us a astray, around a large development (which we subsequently found out will be all lagoony and fancy and add 12km to Aqaba's coastline) along a "private road", towards a bunch of tire spikes, and straight to ... dah dah dah daaaaah, gate number one of the King Abdullah's Aqaba palace. I had a very friendly chat with a special forces paratrooper who spoke virtually no (but also strangely virtually perfect, accent free English). He was able to tell us where we were and also (by clamping my wrist) that if I tried to go through the palace to reach the beach, I would be arrested. Miming swimming actions all over the place I tell you.

Some other guy drove up "I'm so glad I caught you" reclarified everything and we were on our way. No idea if the king was actually in that day, but I really enjoyed it and they were super friendly dudes. I think they were more worried that lost white tourists might raise a stink. No such thing. Back we went, eventually getting a cab because Kristin had broken a flip flop and was now barefooted on the scorching cement and construction sites we were crossing.

Finally we arrived at Aqua Marina hotel beach, determined Barracude had been subsumed by the ongoing construction, paid our 5 dinar and rocked into the place. Amazing. There was a bar and a pool and beyond that a patch of sand and volleyball court and through a low door with a signh marked beach...a cement pier. The sandy part in the middle was a beach, but to get to the red sea you had to wade out a channel between the volleyball court and a chainlink fence on cement piles.

You see, because the frontage is limited and the Intercontinental Hotel is much nicer than the AquaMarina, they have a wide sinday beach and we had a wicked prison beach. Walls and fences all sorts of fun. The water was the same though, and we had a few nice and cool dips between lounging on our sculpted fibreglass beach chairs.

Very nice.

distances

I'm not sure if I mentioned this business already, but part of desert magic is how your sense of distance is totally lost. I suppose because there are few things between here and there (or hoona and hoonaka in the Arab vernacular) the distances seem far. But then you start walking and SURPIRSE! You're there already.

This is fun as you get to places you want to be much faster and also people tend to sneak up on you.

Bedouin tents are here and there behind this dune and that mound, and every once in a while someone gets bored and decides to see what we're up to. They're usually about 10 feet away before I notice them. Of course this might have something to do with the little detail of me having my head buried in various holes and sand piles.

Maybe.

chai (schaai?)...tea

I need to make special mention of the Bedouin tea. They call it chai, but have more of a sh sound on the front.

Whatever it is, it is regular black tea, except for a few added touches. One being the crazy fire blackened tea pots that seem to be Bedouin standard equipment and the other being copious amounts of sugar. Throw in a pile of sugar (I'm not sure how much, but enough), and the water then set the pot in a fire fed by one of the bountiful desert bushes. Next up the tea, dip dip dip, get a good steep on, then enjoy.

They call it Bedouin whiskey and it's served in teensy glasses. Delicious and a decent pick me up. Who knew a nice cup of piping hot tea would be so de rigeur and desireable in the desert?

Camping trip

Okay.

So sometimes the Bedouin invite some of their coworkers out on camping trips. This is good fun and everyone has a jolly time. However, some of the Bedouin think white girls are "loose" (movies and the odd hook up when they guide a group in Wadi Rum on an overnight). This means some caution is required. The Bedouin who were leading this charge were generally seen to be legitimately good people, but Jordan is a funny place.

City and village and Bedouin are very different things with one not always trusting the other. Amer, our rep from the department of antiquities for instance does not trust the Bedouin terribly well. Therefore he wasnted to put the kaibosh on the whole camping trip. It was meant to be 2 girls and 2 younger fellas. The solution to make the trip happen? Bring in the old guard (ie me). Supposedly I have more life experience and would therefore be able to battle any attacking bedouin.

Whatever.

I went and it was awesome! I can't go into all the fantastic details but I will say we hiked down into a canyon (wadi). ALong said Wadi, observing the amazing colours and patterns that slowly emerge from the sandstone as well as cool rocks and formations. It made me think about how easy it would be to develop a pantheon and a mythology there. Just so much raw material abounds in the rock face. This is something I intend to think on more fully in the weeks month and life ahead.

We climbed back out of the Wadi over the crumbly sandstone, guided by the ever present and agile Bedouin. I shouldn't over generalize, but I have to say that some of them (particularly a fellow named Salime) were amazing. Barefoot scampering over sheer rock faces always tend to leave me a little impressed.

Various tours here and there, stopping for tea and nargil;a (flavoured tabacco) from time to time. Very nice.

Skipping a bunch.

Our campsite was tremendous, in another valley and just perfect. They made bread (houbs) on the fire and in the fire. After starting the cooking on a pan they actually cover the bastard wuith embers and cook it inside the fire for a while. very delicious. The night was spent with more nargila (not too much for me), food, singing, dancing etc. Bedouin hospitality at its undeniable finest.

Great tiems had by all and no untoward groping that I had to scold (as expected). Super fun.

The best part was we got some awesome stars for a while before the moon rose. Then we had an awesome moon rise and the opportunity for some amazing long exposure shots featuring profiles of a camel...Boyman, the racing camel of Salim's.

I should say, if you've never seen a racing camel in full flight, you haven't really lived.

And, work the next day went well. A bit tired, but more than worth it.

so much stuff

Blarrgh. Type type type.

If only I wasn't so popular there wouldn't be all those emails and then I wouldn't have to respond and then there would be more time for blogging. Oh well.

First off, I will apologize yet again for poor spelling on here. Particularly the spelling of the word teh (which until that intentional mistype I had been spelling correctly). Normally I would allow you folks to figure out that I just type really quickly and lack the time/inclination to go backl over anything, but I'm beign harassed, so I needed to say something.

There's a girl on the trip whats names is Kristin, her dad is a spaceman (read: astronaut) and this gives her an inflated ego. However, since she has decided to take the time to read the opus the least I can do is type gooder and apologize for inevitable mistakes.

Also, Kristin is actually a fine young lady, and her dad is Chris Hadfield. Yes THAT Chris Hadfield. First Canadian spacewalk, Canadarm styles, etc etc.

I don't know what the rest of my posts are going to be like as a tonne has happened. Let's begin shall we?

Monday, May 19, 2008

general

Aside from being sick, things are still good. Trying to get to sleep on time is trying. Hem. Writing isn't finding the time I want it to. Even this is a bit rushed. I want more thoughts an commentary, over and above narrative, but I'm sure it will come.

Hmmmm. Oh, we found the road. Did I mention that? I think so. I started a new square today to look for the other side. Peeling off 10cm of soil from a 6m by 6m square is boring, but what are you going to do. Right now it's just me and a Bedouin named Ra'ad. My Arabic and his English aren't meshing too well so it's pretty quiet but he's a good guy and a great worker so no complaints.

I'll tell you as soon as I find Turkish gold, which is what some of the Bedouin are convinced we're looking for so we can't use the G word on site.

Picnic and shobak

As I was feeling under teh weather and therefore napped (and may have already mentioned it) I'll say the picnic on rocky rolling hills, underneath some holly like trees, enjoying the afternoon and a cup of chai was just lovely.

Lots of locals picnicing here and there. Just great.

The castle was super weet. Shobak by name. Amer got his start in this place so the tour was extensive. Lots of towers and arrow slits and great panoramic views out over teh hills. Quite an intimidating presence. As I mentioned the castle had two underground springs that it could draw from, and by underground I mean at the bottom of the mountain, reached via a long assed underground set of stairs.

We descended that tunnel to close off our adventure, and given not everyone had flashlights there were nervous moments, but we worked it out and it was a tremendoues tiome had by all. I'm just glad I wasn't doing something silly like...hmmm, hacking the stairs out of the rock and hauling the rock to the surface or hauling water from down there during a siege. Sheesh.

The funny thing is, the spring is just about 8 feet underground at the base of teh mountain so if Saladin had known where to look he would have found his way into the castle faster than the 8 month siege that was needed.

Great castle, good defences, but since I expect to see some better ones and I'm already writing a lot I will save the details.

Petra

What to say about the place? If anyone has seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade they know at least one location in Petra, the Treasury.

The treasury is not actually a Treasury, just the front a of a tomb, which is what most of that sort of in the rock face building in Petra is. Inside there are no secret chambers and none of them go that far into the rock. Just a square room and not much excitement. Alas. This particular locale is called the Treasury because the Bedouin believe some advancing Pharaoh was being slowed down by his treasure so using his magical dark powers he created the pklace in one night. Subsequerntly thew BNedouin took to shootiong at one of the solid stone urns on the facade. Treasure is yet to fall out (and I think teh Bedouin have given up).

Walking to the treasury is down a long suq, a wind worn canyon of red rock. Very cool and paved by the Romans at some point. ALong its sides they have carved some channels, part of the extensive Nabatean water works. Truly amazing what thye were able to do with so little rain. Then suddenly there's a crack ahead and you get your first glimpse of teh treasury.

Thjere are all sorts of buildings carved into the rock, here and there, as well as a street that was formerly collonaded and had free standing temples, some of which still remain. Very cool stuff.

While there I climbed to the monastery, originally built as a meeting place by the Nabateans, teh Byzantines used it as a church, hence the name ( I can't remember the Arabic). This place is like teh Treasury, only bigger and on top of a mountain. Crazy location. They had to dig away the slope of the mountain a good 20m before they had the height they wanted to build the thing into the rock face (about 43m tall). Then they had to carve it and blah blah blah. The only question that was running through my mind is "who does that?" Certainly not me. Too much effort. Although I am digging holes in the desert so who am I to judge.

Up at the top of a mountain I was also able to hit up a look out and away to the north was Haron's (Aaron, Moses' brother) tomb. I alittle white speck atop a crag. Apparently to get there is quite the hike.

After my climb (on an empty stomach) I wasn't feeling the best. I probably should have rented a donkey...next time.

I felt crummy the rest of the day and after working on Saturday managed to come down with some diarreha for Sunday and took teh day off. But I needn't detail that.

General thoughts on Petra. A place to be visited again and with more time. This visit was a bit rushed and I need more time to meditate on the site. We did get in for free though because we are archaelogists and our representative from the department of antiquities is awesome and seems to own Jordan (it's all about who you know). Amer is his name and we call him the Hammer.

Also, in Petra, the stairs to nowhere, and from nowhere, are tremendous. I assume they uised to have ends, but erosion's a funny thing and now they just float on various cliff faces.

this and that

The idea blogging seems intimidating right now so I will start with a few quick hits and if I come up with some stuff I wish to devote a full entry to, well that will just be super duper, won't it?

First off, the minaret singing is becomign a love hate thing. Not so big a fan when I'm trying to sleep (or when they are moving metal gas canisters onto a metal flat bed or when the cats start singing humping fightiong outside my window) when I'm trying to sleep. But when they have a particularly good singer on there and the sound is relatively clear I quite enjoy it all. When we're on the roof in the evening and the breeze is blowing down the dead sea valley strongly and all you have to do is enjoy the evening and write, it doesn't seem so bad.

It's interesting watching the varying degrees of Islam. From the full burka to the full burka with a wicked pair of heels to head scarf in classy shirt to head scraf in skin tight... and that's just how women dress. Ibrahim, one of the Bedouin I work with, was explaining how beer is okay sometimes (and was prescribed for his wife's upset stomach once) while whiskey and other hard stuff are no nos. It's all in the details. Take anything to an extreme and mess up people's lives too much and they are bound not to follow, but allow a degree of flexibility so people can fit the religion into life and life will work that much better.

At the same time, being here, one notes how the ge4ography pf the place influences cultural formation. Long sleeves only make sense in the sun (although the women all in black is still a mystery), equally wise not to booze and dehydrate. Pigs...apparently theor flesh goes bad faster than other anuimals, and aside from that pigs root, and there's no better way to ruin what little arable land there is and remove moisture from the sopil than to havew a pig scrounging around digging everything up.

Hrrrrm. I think I'll give some more details on Petra and Crusdaer castles but that deserves another post...just trying to think of anything else to add here. I'm sure it'll come to me as soon as I press post.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Life continues apace

I don't really have to time to figure out where I left you all last but I continue to rule.

We think we've found the road (a road) and that's good. New squares to be opened tomorrow. Also on our 'weekend' (Friday) we went to Petra as well as hung out in the Crusader castle of Shobak. The latter featuring a 300 foot decent into the pitch black mountain to reach one of the crusader's cisterns. Good times all around.

More next time, I promise. Maybe even some clever thoughts on the world of which I have many.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

rain and Moses

I don't really have much new to add, and as I'm still trying to sort out flights back to Canada online I don't feel terribly blessed with time either.

Whatever the case here's a few points.

Yesterday it rained in the desert. Rained. Not poured or anything but it was still mighty strange. Not having the scorching sun in your eyes all day really throws you off and makes you that much more tired. Although the whole lower heat business is appreciated.

The Bedouin who work with us have a tendancy to assign names that are easier to pronounce. Some of them are cool and mean things like morning or beauty or other such nonsense. They took one look at me and called me Moussa. Aka Moses. Yes that one. Apparently I look like a guy who can lead some people to milk and honey. I'll be sure to keep you updated on my quest.

Today because we were opening a new square in search of the road I was left alone in my whole about 100m past everyone else. Good times. It is unbelievable how quiet the desert is. So today I picked and shoveled and hauled and sweated but I also sat in the bottom of my hole and stared at teh dirt wall, looking for patterns or lines or something. Fortress of solitude. Good times.

I'm about 1.5 metres down now and the thing we thought might be clay brick still might be, but it isn't really clear enough to say definitively so off I go elsewhere. First I have to tidy up the baulks (sides) and make sure everything is ship-shape for the final photo, then I'll likely move to the new square and start helping look for the road.

Sitting in holes in the desert is actually a very hot experience. I'm nowhere near deep enough to have a big shadow and at noon it makes little difference anyway. So all the hole ends up doing is taking you out of the wind.

Sweaty.

Lots of water though so I'm rocking.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Digging and Wadi Rum

Life continues. More digging.

We aren't finding much at our current location. The scorpion palace has thus far been a bust. I got to go at the desert with pick and shovel today, a nice change from the standard wisk broom and trowel so that was nice. But after going down about 35cm nothing is really apparent. Tomorrow we start a new square to search for this darned road. We'll find it yet.

On our weekend (ie Friday) we went to Wadi Rum. Good times. This is the place where Lawrence hid out for a while during his fight against the Ottomans. We even got to see the spring that he bathed in. He had to climb a steep hill of fallen rocks to get to it so I hope he liked it. We also had a bit of desert driving and saw some paleolithic carvings in one of those classic Jordanian rock crevices. (smoooth red rock walls etcv etc).

While in them we did some scrambling and I had a hard time getting down, the rocks were simply too smooth. Once I was down however, the real fun started, getting Zoe down. It's a lot easier getting her up. In the end I was perched legs apart (one on each canyone wall) while I talked her down from hold to hold with the help of a nice German woman. Good times, and I don't think we were ever RELALLY in danger. It would have been a bit of a fall I suppose, but the rock was SMOOTH! So it wouldn't have been that bad.

Short entry today, I need me some sleep. These 430 mornings are killing me.

Oh, and if anyone was wondering I was never planning top go Lebanon.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Ye Olde Call to Prayer

So travelling in the middle east are you???

Maybe it's time to wax poetic about early morning wake-ups from the local minaret. Or not.

Maybe I haven't found the romance because teh call comes in at 415? I suppose I need to get up at 430, so that might be deemed helpful, but I'll put it in the interesting experience column (not bad) over romance.

The tinny speakers cerainly can't help things. Sometimes there are a few minutes of garbled static before anyones voice even comes on.

I'll admit some of it is very pretty and if I could understand the sermons and prayers I'd likely get more out of things, but my reaction is already 'interesting and a part of life', rather than 'HOLY F-Balls travelling is crazy'.

I like Mark's reaction/translation every time the voice booms into our room, "Go Bills". (as in the football team)

archaeology

OH BABY!

So basically the town of Humayma is asbig as it is. Google earth it or something...I dunno. There is an old Roman road leading to the town, but no one knows exactly where it is, and that is what me and my group have been tasked with fnding. We are digging far away from everyone else, out past the old Roman fort on a little mound beside the modern road (desert track).

No road.

BUT today in my little locus I found a wicked cool wall. So we don't know what we have but it is awesome. The fun thing about our dig sit is that it has never been dug at before. No one knows what might be there and given that it is out past the fort, far removed from the rest of town the guesses get to keep on coming. I have found some wicked cool bricks and lots of plaster and stucco as well as all sorts of wall bits. The stucco is interesting because it still has its paint. This means it was painted when the stucco was wet which generally means the person building the structure had money and therefore better workers. Fun.

Right at the end of digging today I lifted my foot and saw a piece of something. Upon closer inspection it looked like a scorpion. I should clarify the little piece of something was a rock and teh scorpion was carved. Or we were thinking it might be. Because it's rock the boss types feel it's mroe likely to be a fossil or just a random shape (I doubt that, it's a mighty fine likeness). Either way it is really cool. Now our site (officially E129) is now called Kasr al Acrab, or house of the scorpion.

Bad

Ass

Heh.

Unfiortunately during teh pottery clean up this afternoon the baggy that contained it has gone missing. Hopefully it will re-emerge. Either way, awesome.

If it's deemed to be a carving it stays, but if a fossil I might get it. I would rather it is a carving because it's such a nice piece and would change EVERYTHING we KNOW.

There is no antiquity taking of courem, but I'm allowed to take pebbles and lord do I have a lot. I'll sort them before I leave.

The kaafiyas are actually here

The kaafiya is a head scarf. It's a square with all sorts of fancy patterns here there and everywhere. You can tie it in all sorts of fun ways and look really sharp when doing it.

The Jordanian colours are red and white...Yasser Arafat wore a black and white one because those are the palestinian colours.

Until I have a picture to post on here I'[m pretty sure that's all I have to say about. I look good with it on and am way more badass than the people who wear them purely for fashion. Why? Just because.

Kaafiyas and dust

Mmmm Jordan.

So tasty.

Well the food is good but life is as well. I'm talking waking at 415 and rocking out. Well, less that, more wishing I couldn't hear the minaret's speakers (ore on them later).

My day starts around 415, I lie for a bit then get up and head to the roof. Myself Mark and Zoe do some stretches up there. The rooms can get a bit stuffy so the roof and its accompanying breeze usually do the trick when it comes to bringiong down the core temp a wee bit. After that we head down and get ready. Breakfast at 5, pack a second breakfast and we're in the van at 530 driving towards teh site (about an hour away). From there we organize tools and head to our respective dig sites (more on that later). Dig dig dig. Second breakfast and sometimes Bedouin brewed tea around 10 then back to work. We usually pack up and head home at 1 and then have lunch when we get back. Afternoons are for cleaning pottery and paper work (or free time as the case may be) then suddenly it's supper and everyone is pretty wiped. Goodnight.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Jordan

There's obviously already a lot of stuff to think about so we'll see how this goes.

First the calls to prayer...I'd say lovely and haunting but at 4 am???? Heh, I'm jsut kidding. Considering how early we'll be heading out to the dig site in the mornings, I would much rather wake to that than any alarm clock.

Our Palace has roof access, perfect for drying clothes and just hanging out and watching the city. I'm sure we'll end up spending a night up there at some point. It only seems appropriate.

We drove to the dig site today for a walk around. Awesome.

The mountains and a mix of jagged, volcanic structures and blobs of rock that look lik scooped ice cream or perhaps melting ice cream. There's not much water around but bcause there is so little in the way of foliage you can easily see where the water goes when it does rain. Lovely. I am watching the change of colours over teh day with great interest. They just flatten out and deaden as teh sun gets higher, but the light is just perfect in the mornings and evenings. I particularly enjoy how the mountains behind Aqaba (where I'm currently staying if i didn't mention that) glow red as the sun sets behind Egypt.

Just to lay it all out. I'm now in the south of Jordan in Aqaba...we drive to the dig site everyday (about 1 hour). It is called Humayma and was a Nabatean, Roman and Byzantine settlement. Some people think maybe Ottoman too, but that needs some proving yet.
Amazing what you can do with a bit of water collection technology and th desert. The soil is good, it just neeeds the precious liquid and the ways they collect and store the stuff is blowing my mind. Truly amazing and something that I will undoubtedly comment more on later. Suffice to say there are cisterns used by teh Bedo\uin today that were built over 1000 years ago. Nuts.

Speaking of the Bedouin...we hire a bunch to help us on the site and as we wqere finishing up today they started shuoting and arguing amongst themselves and with our guy from teh Jordanian ministry of antiquities. There are four main family groups in the area and the largest is also the most wealthy. We try to give out jobs to everyone and because of the above situation it isn't right to dole it out just on a ratio of population basis.

ANyway, the shouting a shaking of fists suddenly turned into 'The Dustup in the Desert' 'The Debacle in the Desert'...whatever, they started wipping rocks at eachother. AWESOME! It didn't last too long but it was pretty sweet.

Turns out one of the guys was pretending to be the head of the cooperative, of which all familis are members. He wasnted the watchman job for himself because it pays the best (over time etc) and you just need to sit around and drink tea. Our people figured it out and went to talk to the legit cooperative headman, and all seems to now be good. Con artists, gotta lov 'em.

OOOOH! I should also mention we were exploring the Aqaba Fort that TE Lawrence so famously took after runnning ut of the mountains mentioned earlier, and we drive past Wadi Raum on our way to the dig site (where Lawrence camped for a while). Neato. I guess I'll have to watch the movie again.

Okay, the smoke in here is starting t bug me...more in a few days but so far eveything is great.

Except my arabic...I just can't make the numbers stick in my head...I'll get there eventually.

flights and arrival

Good.

I was surprised at the east asian attendants on the first flight (along with some middle eastern women) and a tall Scandainavian gal on the second. Someone has since suggested it's a matter of Middle Eastern women only recently being allowed to work and a hold over of foreigners coming in from that.

Seems to make sense.

The Amman airport was fun if only because of all the no smoking signs and lovely announcement totally ignored by everyone.

We are all now well ensconsed at the Shokini Palace. Mr. Shokinin runs a tight ship to be sure.

Travelling again

Woot.

On the road again. I'm not really in the mood to write too much. I think it has something to do with the fact there are a lot of people around to talk to and the writing therefore becomes less of an outlet. The journal has suffered as well, but I'm sure I'll sort it all out eventually.

The trip began on the bus to TO. Managed to get stuck in a jam on the 400. Uggh. Some clever monkey had managed to ignore all the "if you are a truck don't try to go under the bridge on the outer lane"signs that I had plenty of time to read while waiting around. Crunch. They had to stop traffic to get him out.

Then my train to Montreal. Due to leave at 1130...delayed until 2 already when I check in Engine troubles they say. Found out later it was a suicide. Eeeps. Thought they'd just need a hose, but apparently everything is stopped while police investigate. Eventually left at 3 and got passed by the 310 express on the way. Oh well. I had planned to get off in dowtown, go book shopping then Metro out to the hotel. No luck with book shops so it was a just a lengthier trip as I could have gotten off at Dorval, right at the airport. Oh well. Poor Zoe, however, whose father had booked the rooms using his points was a little concerned about my non arrival. And because there was all sorts of mix ups on the hotels parts she never got the mesage I left telling her as much.

The montreal airport was fine...except for a debacle where we were trapped in the international area before they told us we couldn't leave. No Tim Hortons for me...settled for generic toast, egg, sausaage and potatoe over priced breakfast. They tried to charge me 1.69 for a so-called extra sausage, so I volunteered to toss it in the trash because that was just NOT happening and they relented, so I guess that's a happy ending.

Montreal airport. Take each step carefully because they'll trick you.